Joolez Talk

Call me Bridget!

Good morning Ms. Jones!

Dramedy (drama/ comedy) in the morning. I stepped on the cat, lost balance, tried to hold onto something - unfortunately it was the "not-yet-fixed-to-the-wall" bookshelf that tumbled upon me, while simultaneously I fell into the "not-yet-organized" pile of stuff behind me. Cats screaming, myself screaming, and then trying to move my aching body out from under the shelf. Lots of bruises, ripped shirt, nobody there to help, took the poor, hurt cat to the vet, no time to get my bleeding foot fixed by a doctor. And where is Hollywood when you have a Bridget-Jones moment?  Next thing: get a vacation and fix all the "not-yet-fixed" stuff.

Sometimes I wonder

Whatever happened ... to "ME". 

The me from the past. My ideals, my convictions, my inner rebel ...

Whatever happened? 

 

 

Perfect Guy

To all of you out there who are waiting their whole lives for some perfect guy to come into your lives and sweep you off your feet, well guess what: He's not coming!

Love is not something that just happens to you, it's hard work for two people to work at their relationship to work and not loose tha attraction that once brought them together. 

Because - NEWSFLASH! - it's not love at first sight that you experienced, it is called attraction, and while attraction surely plays a major part in initializing a relationship, it is also the one thing to leave the relationship first, if you don't work hard on the rest. 

So stop waiting for the perfect guy and find the "right" guy. The one who actually wants to have that relationship with you and make it work. 

Attraction? Highly overrated and as it turns out: We all loose it sooner or later. And you never know who 's the one to loose it first. You or him. So what's left when the one thing you based your relationship on has left? Right: Nothing. 

So my advice: Forget "Mr. Perfect", find "Mr. Right" instead because it might just happen that attraction and love might follow in his steps. 

Truth and lies

When we lie we make up our lies with pieces of the truth. So what I am asking, are lies really lies or are they just "the truth" how we want to see it? A reality that we wish for but that just unfortunately isn't. 

So maybe our lies are just showing us what we secretly wish for and think we can otherwise not obtain. So how about the next time we lie, instead we just try to change our lives accordingly. 

Maybe therein lies the secret to our happiness. 

Life's lesson on crackers

They're not always what they're cracked up to be.
Plus: They're called "Crackers" for a reason, so no use in being all cracked up about cracked crackers.

Life's lesson on lemons

If life gives you lemons, just don't go and make lemonade.
Because that little squirt of fresh lemon juice that hits you in the eye when you squeeze those little suckers ... so NOT worth it. 

Instead, go and peel that vicious thing and make Limoncello instead!

Cheers!

Silent screams

"You again", the woman said to the cat. "What are you doing here?"
'You screamed," the cat said, "and I came as fast as I could". 
"But I screamed loudlessly" the woman said.
"I know" the cat replied "but I am a cat, and it's in my nature to be with you, when you need me. Even, and especially when you scream loudlessly". 
"I love you" the woman said to the cat.
"I know" the cat said with a smile.
"Now get out of my hair" the woman sighed.
"I can't ..." the cat replied.
"I know ... it's not in your nature" the woman finished the cat's sentence.
"Yes" the cat simply said "It's in my nature to be as close to you as I can get"

One of these days ...

I hate it when asthma gets the better of me, and interferes with my social life. 

It's hard enough with the people who know me and know that I am having these frequent attacks and know that it sounds terrible, and also feels terrible, but know that they can't do anything about it, they can't help me, and neither can I,  and therefore just let me "cough it out" and then continue our conversation as if nothing happened. 

But it's tough with people who don't know me. People who happen to sit next to me in in a movie theatre or a café and who then look at me with this big question in their eyes "what is that? are you contageous? stop coughing alright, you're ruining the film!"

I don't like telephoning for the same reasons. In fact, although I have like all kinds of telephone flat rates I hardly call anyone. And if I do I like keeping it extremely short, but you can't do that with people who don't know you. People who know me know that when I talk a lot I start coughing, people who don't know me think I am weird. 

I like the internet, where I can write, where the coughing neither disturbs a conversation nor bothers anyone, because nobody can hear or see it. 

Sometimes I wish all my life could happen just in writing ... never having to talk again. Of course I would still have asthma attacks, although not as many. 

Today is one of those days where I am not sure if I should make a certain phone call or not. 

People see my picture and have an idea about who I am, how I am and then they hear me coughing and all of a sudden I am this other person. The one who you need to pity. 

But I don't need any pity. I am who I am. And I have asthma. Unfortunately it belongs to me just the same as my arms and legs , my hair and my eyes, my lips, my ears ... I am made of all those things. 

Flirting from my window

He said: "Lets flirt"

He said: "I want to meet you in person, but I don't want to seem so eager, or imposing on your privacy"

She said: "Don't let yourself bee fooled by my photograph"

He said: "Call me"

She said: "I was tempted to call this morning, but then I thought it might be too early"

He said: "Glad you didn't call, I don't wake so early"

She thought: "Ouch. I won't call now"

But he never said when to call, and it wasn't flirting either. 

Once a window of opportunity closes it's hard to open it again. 

Today the winds of change are blowing hard against my window. Must close my windows soon.

On dating, men, cats and goldfish

Dating, especially men, is highly overrated due to hormonal influence and thus resulting romantic clouding of judgemental capabililties …

I therefore have resorted to dating my cats who-over the years-have shown a high threshold of tolerance and acceptance of my quirks and personality.

Having said that the only remaining cat left me in favor of nibbling on a late night snack. Where can you turn to when even the last cat left you?

Damn, I can’t even be a cat-lady for heavens sake! Tomorrow I am going to buy a goldfish in a bowl. The chances of him leaving are scarce. I assume.

A goldfish will provide stability and TLC. If that works out I am contemplating getting a second goldfish.The future is looking bright again.